Man’s best friend, as I have so recently found out, is not just a saying-it is very much true. Every time Dan comes over, my scruffy little man just loves to hog all the attention. He often tries to steer us closer together, perhaps my furry boy has been hangin’ out with my mother while I am at work and she’s been training him for just these occasions. Dan and I would make the perfect couple and would have the perfect children, according to my mother.

Not that I would disagree. We would be together and probably have a few children, if I was not a *****. I mean I love Dan with all my heart, just I am not sexually attracted to him in the least. At first, he was my training officer, then he was my best friend as my partner, during our time away me still in uniform and him with his gold badge we just never seemed to find the time to even hang out, later we were partnered up again-he was my best friend/we worked around the clock and when were not working we were too tired to even attempt a relationship (okay, so I was making excuse, anything not to break his heart with the truth), and now he is my boss. Perhaps, I am allowing his hopes to linger and I am only delaying the inevitable by not telling him the truth. Yet, I still can not bear to break his heart. I have always been too sensitive to ever do the right thing. I know, I know. By allowing him to hold onto something that will never happen, I am denying him the opportunity to move on, and hopefully something that will be much better for him than I ever could be. And yet, I still can not bear to break his heart. I am afraid that I will never be able to let him go and perhaps, that’s my biggest sin and one that I will keep hiding so far down and so far in the dark that even I won’t be able to recognize unless I purposefully go looking into that dark corner of my heart and soul. I just might love the fact that he loves me and maybe, just maybe, I couldn’t bear to witness and know that he could love anyone but me, even though I try to get him to keep asking other women out. I must admit that I do get a bit jealous when he has a date. His relationships have always rubbed me the wrong way, the green-eyed monster creeps up and over me, luckily I keep my mouth shut. Because, that would truly be wrong for me to give him any kind of hope, no matter how small it’d be, if I am unable to give him the one thing he wants the most in this entire life. I can not hold on, yet, I can not let go. How is it possible that I can love Dan so much, yet, I am unable to be attracted to him and to give him the one thing he needs the most? Me.

End of Part 2………….To Be Continued!